A Fledgeling Addict Emerges...

From a sound sleep, I woke up in the middle of the night, wide eyes, frantically sucking for air, my whole body contracting while on my stomach (specifically my back muscles spasming making me lift my head, arms & legs like I was doing a yoga pose, Superman style)

“You have a mild case of depression.”

Yep. From the lips of my OBGYN when I was 16 years old, “But it’s easily managed with a low dose of Prozac.”

Prozac gave me night terrors.

Thus began my journey of being heavily medicated (by doctors and myself)

While I was smoking weed, skipping class, hanging out in the “smoke pit” across the street from my high school and experimenting with heavy drinking of screwdrivers & tequila sunrise - I was also diagnosed with this “mild depression”.

Looking back, I think I was just a normal teenager, lol!

I snuck out of the house at night, hung out with boys, tried to “fit in” with the “cool kids” and failed miserably (or so I thought).

But then I graduated high school at the ripe age of 17 years old, and I graduated in my party life to snorting cocaine, and partying “big girl status”.

Using drugs was one of those things that I did in my life...

...THINKING it was going to make me more confident, more attractive, more mysterious, more appealing to men, etc. But I was so wrong.

To Be Continued...

Being a teenager, having a diagnosis of depression, I felt NONEXISTENT. I was totally invisible to the world around me! And I could come up with loads of evidence that nobody cared…

#depression #addiction #recovery

Have you ever felt invisible? If so, at what age? Share in the comments!